My Deaf Secret
by EmoImmortal
Summary: Yes, I am Deaf and have an phobia of water. Yes, moving to Washington, the wettest place in the continental U.S. might not have been the best idea if I wanted to keep my secret, but its only two more years, then I could move to a dry land. But no, I don't know who Jasper Hale/Cullen is or why he is looking at me a lot. So please leave me alone before I do something about it. JXB
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer:**

**dont own it. **

Its raining. And like any other person I should be outside enjoying it, feeling the silk drops slide across my skin. Kicking up water in the puddles that have formed in the old cracked streets. Having fun like anyone else does in the state of Arizona when it rains. But no, I had to be different. I had to be the only one staying inside at a gorgeous time like this.

I can see the rain splash against my window. I can see my neighbors giggling with their kids I play with every once and a while. How I wish I could be out their right now, smiling with them. But no, I had to sit inside and stare at my water covered window like the depressed fool I am. The rain slowly came to a close like every other week when it rained during monsoon season.

This sucks.

"Isabella!" my mom signs from my stairs.

"Come down and do your chores right now or you wont get paid!" she finished before storming downstairs and letting my feet feel her anger.

I slowly walked dawn stairs seeing my bag at the door again and went into the kitchen and cleaned every morsel of gross off of it. Then I did the front yard cleaning after my puppy Marvin- living in a condo you only have a small space in your front yard, no back. And when I was done with that I went through my complex and checked the mail, making sure to stay away from any puddles.

I needed to be payed, that way I would finally have enough money to move to Charlies. Charlie is my father, but he has never really been there for me. No, he is not a "dead beat dad" its just after he got divorced from my mom and my mom met Phil, she wanted me to forget about Charlie and have Phil replace him as my dad. And she told Charlie to never come by again because I wasn't interested in him as a father anyway.

Not true, just for clarification.

Me and Charlie kept in touch through phone calls and E-mail. And we decided it would be best for me to move in with him when I found a bag full of needles while cleaning once. Yes, you heard right, my mother, or Phil, or both are doing drugs. I don't really know right now.

And it really doesn't help when after I found the needles I went on a rampage in anger to see if I could find anything and taped to the bottom of the sink was a bag of tightly wrapped white powder with a slab of glass also taped behind it.

So that sucked. A lot.

All Renee knows is that I am going to live with Charlie to spend time with him. Charlie wants to get me out of their and then tell her the real reason. He doesn't want to tell her now because he doesn't know how they will take it, and his motto has always been safety first.

I leave this week, on Thursday. Two more days, then I will be submerged in my worst fear. The mother fucking water. And for good reason. I started back on my chores, then went upstairs and read the rest of the day away.

**-o0o-**

**Two Days Later. **

It was finally time for me to leave. Renee and Phil were packing up right now for the trip to the airport Phil is in my room grabbing my bags and Renee is making room for them. I grabbed my zipped up comforter and pillows and my weak arms tried their hardest drag the heavy little shit outside. It took most of my strength to lift it up into the car, the stained seats that were left from my childhood strained under the weight of my four suitcases.

Not my fault I didn't want to leave anything behind here, I just wanted to be gone for now. I inhaled some of the dry, Arizona air the heat scorching my face despite the clouds that darkened the sky. I'm glad were leaving when we were, since monsoon season started I have not seen the sky this dark at all. The clouds were jet black and the puddles were large, very large.. as I walked back into the condo we lived in I reached to the floor and as I stood up I allowed Phil to walk through then I followed with the last of my bags.

Good bye Arizona.

I sat in the car with my jacket on and my skinny jeans and my washcloth so I could wipe off my shoes. DC's have very thick padding, their skater shoes they need to, so my feet were safe, I am just paranoid.

"I don't know how you are going to survive in Washington with your fear of water." My mom signs while she looks back in the mirror, while driving. Yeah, my mom can sign while she drives, scares the hell out of Phil but I'm used to it.

Aversion not fear.

I shrugged my shoulders when I saw she was looking in the rear-view mirror. It will be difficult and probably impossible, but I need to make it through this for just two more years, then I can move to the driest place on the continent and stay there forever. I can make it through this for two more years. I can do this. I think.

I waved my hands to get Phil's attention and motioned to my I pod and headphones as I put them in my ears. He nodded and nudged my moms elbow and told her I was listening to my music. And for the rest of the car ride I looked out of the window as it started to pour, and cranked my music skipping songs here and there until we arrived at the airport.

No, I cant hear the music, but I like the vibrations. When the bass drops it feels nice to know I can follow some music if it is up high enough. I'm not_ absolutely_ deaf.

I looked at my wrist as I sat in the car next to Charlie. Lets just say our meeting was different then our phone calls. Or, well, I guess I should elaborate, not actual phone calls. We use TRS, its a Telecommunications Relay Service, it allows Charlie to talk, and a man- or woman- signs what he is saying while I watch, and sign back for the person and they tell Charlie what I said.

I have Neural hearing loss, its when the auditory nerve which goes to the brain, fails to transmit sound properly like it should. I can hear very slightly, you would have to shout until your throat is completely raw for me to even catch a word, but I can catch small muffled sounds if its loud enough.

When I got off the airplane, Charlie had to help me with a lot of the bags and we waited for Marvin. He's my little husky puppy, and hes still being potty trained, so when we got him I wasn't surprised to smell the urine before everyone else. Being deaf perks your other senses, for me it really helped my sense of smell. We hugged shortly while Charlie gave me a sympathetic look and we headed to the car.

Charlie knows some ASL but not all, there is still a lot for him to learn for us to have a good flowing conversation, but we managed the pleasantries while walking to the parking lot. We were heading to his house- our house.

As we drove I nudged Charlie and motioned to my headphones and placed them in my ears, turning Five Finger Death Punch up to its highest volume and nodding my head to the music. I could see Charlie looking at me from time to time as I bounced my knee. He waved to people as we got to Forks, and I could see them all staring at me in curiosity. Whispering to each other as we passed motioning to me. I could understand though, I was quite a sight.

My name is Isabella Swan, chief of polices daughter. I wear all black, every day. I have scars on my wrists that are very noticeable, and if you were to see my legs, you would see double the ones on my wrist. I don't do it anymore, and if I do cut, its because its a really bad situation and I honestly cant handle it. I'm very thin due to a small- ok, large- problem with anorexia. I'm getting better though. I have spider bites, and my septum and eyebrow pierced. My hair is artificially dyed auburn, and I am extremely pale. I never fit in, in Arizona, but in Washington, I think I'm just a small bit whiter. Not that I would fit in anyway. I'm not planning on getting lose to anyone for the next two years until I move to the driest place on the continent, maybe even then. Hell, I'm not even the same species probably, who would want to love me. Seriously.

I picked at my nails at the thought of what I am, and how I was going to even survive here, and slowly the black chipped away. I faded back into the vibrations of my music and waited for us to pull into our home. I'm going to die here. I sighed heavily.

**-o0o-**

I slowly made my bed getting the fabric smoothed over, and placing my childhood blanket my Grandma Swan knitted me before she passed away over that one. The black smooth fabric fit with the red and I smiled. Charlie had asked me what my favorite colors are and ordered me bed set as a welcome home present. It had black and red throw pillows and came with sheets. It was nice, I really appreciated it.

I went over to the small wooden desk that used to be Charlies, but he gave me so I could do my homework. I start school tomorrow, I got my schedule in the mail, and we called the school to confirm. I looked at the wooden board hanging on my wall, so I could pin things in it. Charlie took down all my childhood drawings that used to be there, and placed them in a box in the loft. My room was decent sized, and I had a queen sized bed with a nice comforter. I had a desk and a bullion board. I didn't need anything else. It was perfect. The only thing I would have asked for differently, is two bathrooms.

Me and Charlie have to share, but hes a simple man. He doesn't have much there, and there is enough room in the cabinet for my things. Ill just have to make sure to lock the door while I am in there. I looked around my dimly lit room and sighed as I connected my alarm clock that flashes and vibrates so I can feel and see it when I need to wake up. I set it to five and set the time, and went downstairs to save Marvin from certain bladder infection.

**-o0o-**

I watched as Marvin walked and sniffed in the back yard squatting every once and a while marking places as he went. He was so simple, I wish I could get in the grass and play with him, but the grass is wet from a storm they had a few days ago and it wasn't a possibility. He yipped at me in his puppy squawk and I laughed quietly. He pranced over to me and nuzzled my arm, squeezing into my side and I made sure I didn't touch his wet legs while we sat on the cold cement patio. I got up and he followed behind me, he sat like a good dog behind me as I got out his bowls and set them on the floor filling them with water and food.

I warmed him his bowl of lactose and tolerant milk and went into the storage where charlie told me he set Mavins dog door. After I connected it to the sliding glass door, I went and got the empty bowl from Marvin. This was his last week drinking the milk then he would be completely on dry food and water.

I gave him a final rub with the towel and a pat on the head and went upstairs and closed the door to get dressed. Once I was in my sweats and oversized hoodie I bought at a baseball game – Arizona Diamondbacks of course- I went and opened the door again. Marvin tumbled through and immediately jumped on the bed, nuzzling the comforter. I got his brush and brushed him down before I turned off my single lamp – the fan light needed new bulbs- and went to bed with Mavins breathing lulling me to follow.

**-o0o-**

I woke from a flash and sat up in bed, looking towards my alarm clock, but noticing it wasn't that making the abrasive light. I looked towards my window clearing the bleary from my eyes with a rub of my hand, and gasped sharply. The trees outside looked ready to topple they were being blown so hard. The rain dragged down the glass and I could see the ferocity of which it hit the poor glass. I stood up and walked to the window, pressing my hand to the pane and feeling the beating of the wind and rain. Marvin rubbed against the back of my ankles, his ribs sharply going in and out, and the floor dimly vibrating beneath me, letting me know he was yipping.

I turned around and with a sad tear running down my cheek and my breaths growing quicker I darted to my bed, jumping in it and covering myself with my fresh blanket. I signed '**dog come**' to Marvin and he jumped onto the bed with me, cuddling into my side as I turned away from the window and covered my face and went back to sleep.

Yeah, tomorrow at school, I am going to die.


	2. intireasting

**Disclaimer:**

**don't own it. **

**Giving a shout out to some awesome people that reviewed c: **

**vampyrelove21**

**zellbell90**

**natcityjp**

**kouga's older woman**

**psychovampirefreak**

**thanks for the support guys, I really appreciated it, and I still do. **

**(you have no idea how many red lines popped up under your names)**

**Here is the next chapter. **

**Bpov**

I looked in the mirror one final time, checking my phone for the time. I needed to leave, Charlie is dropping me off at the school so on of the students who knows ASL can give me a tour of the school and where all my classes are. I thought it very curious of the school to do that instead of laving me to bump into everyone but I was also embarrassed. I was extremely nervous about the puddles from the night before. When I looked outside this morning tree debris was thrown everywhere and almost everything was wet.

They had to go out of there way just to find someone that could talk to me and show me around, I was probably disrupting this persons life. I give Marvin a pat on the head and leave my room, making sure Marvin wasn't left in there. I walked down the stairs, and grabbed the house key Charlie made for me. And smacked the wall by the door trying to get charlies attention. I didn't think to get him while I was up there, and was too lazy to go up there and get him.

He didn't seem to be coming, so I opened my mouth and yelled his name, as best as I could. I felt my throat contract in an alien way, and was immediately self-conscious. I don't know if I said his name correctly, how it sounded, maybe that wasn't the best idea. I looked at my feet, and started walking up the stirs to get him trying to ignore the sick feeling in my chest.

I felt his feet hit the floor of the stairs when I was about to turn the corner and get him.

"You call me?" he signed. I nodded giving a small smile.

"You didn't hear me banging on the wall, so I tried that." I signed back, slowly so Charlie could keep up.

He repeated one of my signs with eyebrows raised so I repeated it "Tried" and finger spelt it for him. He nodded and repeated the sign this time with understanding.

"You should speak more, you have a nice voice." he replied.

We walked through the front yard me staying away from any wet patches I could see. Charlie chuckled watching me, he knew of my aversion to water. He didn't know why though, he just thinks its from being in Arizona for too long. I shook my head, he doesn't understand and hopefully never will.

We got to the car, and I got into the passengers seat, throwing my backpack on the floor of the car making sure to be careful of the water dripping from the car when I opened my door. It was overcast today, not going to rain in Forks, but might if the storm from Seattle comes in our direction. Yes, I am stalking my Weather Bug app.

"Ready for school?" he asked.

"Yes." I signed back. I nudged him and motioned to my headphones. He nodded.

As I listened to my music we slowly pulled into Forks High school, a few people were in the parking lot, chatting with each other, but that all stopped when they saw the chief of police's car turn into the lot.

I took out my ear buds when Charlie lightly touched my shoulder, distracting me from looking at the people staring at us.

"If anyone gives you trouble, tell someone, ok?" I nodded and gave him a hug and got out of the car, heading to the building labeled office. I made sure to stay away from any puddles, pulling my jacket over my hands, my gloves on tighter, my beanie in place properly above my head, making sure my shoes stayed away from the damning liquid.

I put my ear buds back in and walked with my head down, my auburn hair straitened and covering my face. I walked into the building and handed a teacher my slip and she smiled and went to get a girl sitting in a chair reading a book I have read thousands of times.

I smiled and waved. She waved back when she saw me.

"I'm Angela" she did her name sign ", nice to meet you." I smiled.

"I'm Isabella" I did my name sign my Grandma gave me – yes, my Grandma was deaf also, "nice to meet you also. I love that book." I motioned to her book.

" I love it too, read it thousands of times." she signed laughing.

I signed me too, while laughing with her. She looked to her side, so I turned too, the girl I gave my slip to was talking. I tried to read her lips but she was talking too fast. Its proven that when trying to read lips you only catch thirty percent of what people are saying, and I can't read lips very well, so I was catching literally nothing.

Angela turned to me and signed " She is getting your schedule for you now, then we can start the tour."

I nodded and signed thank you to the woman and turned to Angela, asking her name.

"She's Mrs. Nash." she spelt her name fluently.

I nodded and thanked Angela. Mrs. Nash came back and handed Angela my schedule and waved bye before turning and going back to her desk.

I looked at Angela and motioned for her to lead the way. I kept my finger on my ear bud feeling the thrumming as the music played. She looked down at the tiny speaker and smiled. She pulled from her pocket a small I pod and smiled at me.

"So are you Deaf, or hearing?" I signed when she looked away from my map.

" Both, I'm hard of hearing. Have to wear hearing aids all the time, runs in the family. My father is Deaf." I nodded.

Angela is just just a little taller than me with a long and lean body. She has long brown hair and deep brown eyes to match. She is quite thin and I couldn't help the sick feeling of jealousy that rose as I saw how thin her wrist and legs were, and how her collarbone stuck out. How her face was so slender, and her nimble, small fingers. I looked away and shunned myself, I have no reason to feel that way, I am perfect the way I am.

"What about you?" she questioned as she looked at my schedule again.

"I'm Deaf." I answered quickly. She nodded and we started walking.

" I will lead you to as many classes I can before the bell rings they have changed your schedule to match mine so I can help you if you need it. They didn't have to change much though, just your lunch and two other classes to different teachers. Other than that we had the same schedule, you can normally feel then the bell rings, they have one that makes the floor vibrate slightly. So you'll know. Then we will head to first hour together." she signed quickly as she lead me to a large building across campus.

I nodded in understanding and motioned to my schedule.

She let me have it, and I skimmed over my classes. They all seemed descent other than P.E. I hate gym.

"Do we have a dresscode in gym?" I signed when I got her attention.

"They give you a school shirt, and a pare of gray basketball shorts." she replied quizzically.

"How long are the shorts?" I questioned.

"Depends, on me their above mid thigh, your about my height so probably the same for you." she replied, then she pointed to a room and we came to a stop.

"First hour for us, Mrs. Mathews." she lead me to the door and we walked through and Angela spoke to her for a second and Mrs. Mathews smiled at me and waved.

I waved back.

We left after Angela waved to her and started walking again, as we passed the parking lot a lot more people were there than this morning and some stared as we walked by, talking to each other. I rubbed my eyes, still tired. I turned a corner with Angela and we entered another small building and I almost had a heart attach when I stepped near a large puddle.

I quickly moved out of the way and entered the toasty room. Angela also spoke to this person and he waved at me, I looked at my schedule real quick. Mr. Lathers, Honers English. I waved at him and Angela said one more thing, waved and left the room. We continued walking, me looking down at the monstrous puddles everywhere and watching my step. I kept my finger glued to my headphone and nodded with it.

We quickly came to my third class when I felt the floor beneath me, and the wall I was leaving on slightly tremble.

"Did the bell ring?" I asked when Angela closed the teachers door.

"yes. Go ahead to first hour, I need to get something from my locker." she waved and I put my headphones in and started walking to class.

I made sure to keep my face glued to the floor, and was happy I did, the way back without Angela leading was seemingly flooded. I sighed. This is practically impossible, I don't know how I am going to make it two years. And why in the hell doesn't the wettest place in the continental U.S. Have one major building so we don't all get soaked while walking? No, the person who built the school had to be a retard and make thirty thousand small buildings, wasting money, instead of one large building saving thousands.

I shook my head and looked at the sky, in the distance you could see a cash of black and dark gray above the trees moving towards Forks. I pulled out my phone and checked the weather and sure enough it had changed to seventy seven percent chance of precipitation. Damn. I walked quicker my anxiety growing as I put away my phone and stared at the floor.

I finally hit a nice dry patch of cement and smiled a little at the floor. Thank you. I was about to lift my head when I ran into something extremely statue like. I fell ass first on the floor and felt my throat constrict as I let out a sound of pain. I landed on my hand wrong and as I looked up, I felt a hand grab my elbow and lift me off the floor, thank god for the dry patch.

I was looking at my wrist that was already turning a purple color. I frowned jutting out my bottom lip, and saw a man waving a hand in front of my face. I looked up and took out my headphones- a habit I got into when my mom once told me it was rude to have headphones in while signing.

I had to stop for a moment, it was as if time stood still. My blue eyes caught his gold orbs and I was stuck there. They seemed to go on forever, and my breath escaped me. I breathed in through my nose and his scent filled me, making my mouth water. His gold eyes were covered by long eyelashes, making his eyes stand out even more. His skin was so pale it almost matched mine. His eyebrows were a little darker than his honey/wheat hair, but you could tell it was all natural. His strong jaw jutted out screaming power, his lips smooth and rose pink. His nose was masculine, but not overbearing.

He was absolutely perfect, he stood, at least, 6'5 a whole neck and head taller than my 5'7. He was muscular, but not to much, he was almost lean. I swallowed the spit that gathered in my mouth and blinked finally. I don't know what came over me.

I shook my head blinking repeatedly. The god looked at me and spoke again, his eyebrows crinkling in the most adorable and sexy way. I stopped him, waving my hands in front of his face to stop him before he hurt himself. I turned around and bent to reach into my backpack, and I'm not ashamed to say I didn't bend my knees once as I did, and they didn't buckle. I came back up with a notebook and pen. I opened it- ignoring his confused face.

**Sorry for running into you, I didn't see you. Got to get to class before the bell rings . Bye. **

I ripped the paper out, put my notebook back in my bag, grabbed it, handed him the note and left, putting my headphones back in. I felt eyes on me as I left, coming from the god standing behind me as I walked, and I made sure I didn't look back.

I watched the puddles as I walked and entered first hour just before the bell rang and got pointed to a chair by the teacher, where Angela sat. There were notes on the board so I pulled out my notebook and quickly copied them and looked at Angela as he spoke while she interpreted. Arizona was a little further ahead of them, so I told Angela I knew how to do this already and got started on the homework while she did the same.

**-o0o-**

I entered the lunch room with Angela glued to my side, and I couldn't help but feel bad for her having to lug me around everywhere. She has friends she should be hanging out with instead of me. She got my attention and pointed to the lunch line. I looked disdainfully at the food but joined her getting my student ID out. I got a sandwich and paid and went with Angela to a table surrounded by people.

"This is Isabella." she signed while she spoke outright, and everyone turned to wave at me. With all the staring I felt like a lab experiment.

A girl with brown hair turned and waved at me, then pointed to herself and finger spelled Jessica. I smiled and nodded. She should have placed her hand flat on her chest for a possessive noun but she tried. I looked at everyone else, and Angela introduced everyone. Mike, Ben- I know something is going on there due to that blush- Eric, Jessica, Lauren, and Tyler. I waved to everyone.

I felt so self-conscious, I fixed my hair and made sure my clothes were ok. I sucked in my already nonexistent stomach but their was nothing I could do about being Deaf. I just looked down while people still stared at me and opened my sandwich and put in my ear buds and blasted my music. My battery was almost dead, it would only last the rest of the day and when I got home I would have to charge it. I could feel the table rumble and the floor did the same so I knew they were talking again. I relaxed slightly and picked at the sandwich.

_Don't eat it. _A voice said.

I peeled off the bread and took the meat and ate it slowly. Ripping it apart and as much as my stomach turned and the voice yelled at me I continued eating till all that was left was the bread. I drank from my juice box as I ate half of one bead before I could almost feel myself become physically sick. I got up and walked to the trash and dumped the rest of my food before I really became ill just looking at it.

I sat back at the table and faded as they all laughed. I saw their smiling faces, covered in humor and joy. Happiness covered all of them. I wish I could hear it, their laughter, their anger, everything. The rain. Though I despise it I love it at the same time. I just wish whatever was wrong with me didn't happen. I don't know why I am what I am, I know not one thing about it other than it is a curse and living here it will be almost impossible to hide. But I need to do this, finish school so I can make something for myself.

Then I can move somewhere where the heat is palpable, and doesn't every really storm. Where I can lock myself away forever and hide. I turn my attention back to the smiling laughing, jovial people.

_You wish. _The sarcastic thought filtered.

I felt the vibrations in my ears, and the pressure on my chest was becoming to much seeing them all smile and laugh. The hatred and jealousy kept building and building but I couldn't turn away from their happy faces. Torture at its finest.

I tried to listen, but nothing came through. Nothing. I looked at my wrists again, my long sleeve riding up a bit and showing the scars. I covered them again and looked around. Their was a table in the back, no one there was smiling, no one laughing, they all just stared at their plates of food, picking at it from time to time, but never eating it. There faces solemn, until one of the girls smiled, she had black pixy hair and was so small I couldn't help it when my thoughts turned to anguish. She was so beautiful, with her petite frame and round doe eyes. Perfection, but the woman next to her was absolutely divine.

She had long spiraling blond hair and gold eyes to match, here eyebrows perfect and the same shade, letting everyone know that gorgeous mane was hers. She had a button nose and perfect naturally red lips, her body was the most amazing thing though. She wasn't the thinnest, but she sure as hell was the most beautiful. She had a frame models kill themselves for. I'm not a lesbian. Or in any way interested in girls, but this was just good to believe.

And the men surrounding them, I had never seen anything more gorgeous than them, I almost felt guilty for looking at them. I looked at my group of chattering friends, their laughing driving me more insane with jealousy. And I looked at the group that never talked but seemed to be having conversations with there eyes. Maybe they wouldn't mind if I sat with them, then when the bell rings, I could find Angela. I looked at Angela, only to find he looking at me.

She nodded at me and I signed "I'll find you after lunch, wait by the doors." she nodded again.

"There nice people Isabella, no matter what you discover. Remember that, I used to sit with them when I first came here a year ago. I know how you feel I'm sure they wont mind. The Blond, Rosalie" she did her name sign "even knows ASL,I'm pretty sure all of them do." I smiled at her understanding and looked around at the table staring at us with interest, and got up. I felt like the whole cafeteria was looking at me as I walked across the room to the beautiful peoples table.

I tapped Rosalie on the shoulder, but it seemed like she already knew I was there.

"Do you mind if I sit here?" I asked. She motioned with her hand to the empty seat across from her and nodded.

I sighed relieved to be away from all of the happy people, and went to the empty chair.

I placed my ear buds back in and played my music to its highest level and closed my eyes, tilting my head to the ceiling, tapping my foot from time to time. I covered my stomach self-consciously, keeping my face blank until I felt a tap on my shoulder.

It was the god I ran into. I sat up from my position and he started signing. I think I am in love.

"The bell rang." I took out my buds and nodded thanking him, I grabbed my things and headed out the door looking for Angela.

She was waiting there. "Our next class is Biology, with Mr. Banner. The Cullen's are in this class, well two of them. Edward, and Jasper." I nodded as we entered the room and noticed there were only two open seats, but the seats next to them were occupied, so me and Angela wouldn't be sitting next to each other.

I walked up to Mr. Banner and gave him the slips the office gave me and he signed it and gave it back, seating Angela next to Edward and me next to the only other available seat. Next to Jasper Cullen.

My heart rate increased as I sat in the chair next to the god that knew ASL. This is going to be interesting.


	3. Survivor

**Disclaimer:**

**don't own it. **

**Giving a shout out to some awesome people that reviewed c: **

armywife1979

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thanks guys, for all the feedback. Ima review whore, gotta love em' and without you guys I would have nothing to curb my addiction.

Love yall, and hers the next chapter, hope you are semi surprised at least, read away bye.

**Bpov**

"Will you need me to interpret? I don't have a license, but I'm sure no one will mind." I smiled crookedly and nodded to the Adonis before me.

"I know I don't mind, and I appreciate it. I'm not the best lip reader." I leave my half smile, and he gives one back.

He nods and motions to my notebook. "You are a little late in the semester, but I will catch you up. Count the pages front and back, until you get to 12." And that is how the fist few minutes of class went, me turning pages, titling and making sure the notebook was as neat as humanly possible.

I went onto numbering all the pages, and copying the rest of page twelve down, and after that, I watched Jasper- as he had told me his name- sign to me everything the teacher was saying. Soon after, I got lost in the fluency of his fingers as he spelt certain words, he had beautiful fingers. Nimble but not too thin, and he seemed to have faint callouses on his finger tips, a working man.

After a while he pulled his long sleeves up on his forearm and my eyes immediately caught the white of his arm. Something wasn't quite right about it, like I couldn't really see it but I could. It seemed almost like there were hundreds of scars on his arm. I scratched the side of my auburn head and tried to keep track of what he was saying and writing when appropriate but also trying to get a closer look.

I could almost feel my pupils dilate after a while, and I could almost see it, they looked like teeth marks. My eyebrows crinkled, no way those are bite marks. It cant be possible. I looked a little closer, and some of the artificial light caught it and a shadow reflected the familiar look of teeth marks. Holy shit, I wonder what happened there.

I look up from his arm only to see him staring at me with solemn eyes. He drops his hands to his lap and looks me right in my eyes, his gold ones – gold?- making me swoon a little bit. I have to stop myself from leaning forward like my instincts are telling me to, its almost like someone is trying to push my head forward, and I'm trying my damnedest not to.

"You don't ask me about mine, I wont ask about yours." he nods his head in the direction of my jacket sleeve and I gasp as I realized my jacket rode up a tiny bit, revealing the lines of scars that is nothing compared to the rest of my arm.

I blush a putrid red from embarrassment, and turn my head to my shoes facing forward, feeling mortified. Someone like him saw my ugly ass scars. Fuck. Now he most likely thinks I'm a god damn crazy person that sacrifices goats to satin. I shake my head at my gross- but most likely true- thoughts and look up to the board, seeing if I missed anything.

I really didn't want to look at Jasper right now. He didn't deserve to look at someone like me- a scared freak. _Its true _my mind whispered, and then I realized what I was doing. I was thinking negatively. I pulled my hands into my sleeves and made sure my gloves were on securely and the end of my sleeves were tucked into my balled hands. I kept my face blank ad the mortification, embarrassment and worthlessness swirled in my stomach, almost making me feel sick.

God damn it, and I thought today was going almost remotely ok.

I hung my head as I wrote what the teacher wrote on the board in my notebook. I had already learned this in Arizona, I was set for a while. I wrote the major things I remembered about this subject and closed my notebook, pulling out my sketch book..

I flipped through the pages I had drawn in and smiled a bit. There were some of Marvin, a couple of my mom, one of Phil, one of all three of us together, and the rest weren't as happy. In fact, the were absolutely depressed, from when I was going through my recovery faze of self harm and ED. I nodded as I saw these, remembering what was happening while I did these. I shook my head and turned to a blank page, sketching the room in front of me.

The white board, scribbled on with all sorts of insane handwriting, the teacher with his hands moving as he is stuck saying a word. The classroom desks, his desk, the sides of the classroom covered in posters, and instead of students, I did something else. I looked at all of the peoples faces, and instead of people, I did either question marks or light bulbs. Most were question marks other than a certain few.

I looked at the clock and saw there was only a few minutes left, and I started putting my stuff in my bag. I looked at Jasper, only to see him already looking at me.

I felt my feet shake, and broke the eye contact, getting out of my chair. As we walked out Angela got my attention, and I told her to give me a second as I tapped Jasper on his hard, broad back.

"I'm sorry if I offended you. I will ask the teacher if me and Angela can switch seats." I signed quickly with shaking hands and I saw his eyes had darkened. It made him look fucking delicious, and I wanted to eat him up.

"That's not necessary, I like you, just stick to your secrets and I'll stick to mine. Simple, see you tomorrow Isabella." and he was gone, dominating the hallway with his stride, attracting the attention of many women and some men. I was included in that.

I was startled to fuck my Angela placing her hand on my shoulder and shaking her head at me with a smile. I stuck my tongue out at her and put my ear buds in as we walked down the hall, her leading us to out next and final class. Physical Education.

I groaned as we walked, feeling my throat contract, not even caring how loud and obnoxious it sounded. I could see Angela's back shake as she laughed. She turned to me and I took out my buds.

"Just be thankful you have it at the end of the day so your not all sweaty in the middle of the day." I nodded, but it didn't make me any happier. Maybe the coach would let me sit out and have me watch today.

That brightened my mood a bit. But when we got there, the coach was already waiting with shorts in his hand and a lock to my locker.

I groaned again mentally.

Angela signed to me as he spoke. "here is your lock to your locker, I will show you where it is after I find a shirt your size. This week we are doing track, unless it rains. Then we'll go in and do volleyball with the men." I nodded and he took my to his office and we got a small shirt for me.

A small part inside of me was happy to see it was still a bit big. I shook my head as I walked out and he got me my locker so I could change. He showed me the combination with Angela's help and left us to change quickly. I looked at all the girls around me and felt my stomach drop at their perfect bodies, and looked down at mine. Fuck me. I unfolded the shorts, and my eyes widened. They were so fucking short, I know these wont cover my scars. I rest my forearms on the cool metal of my locker and rest my head on my balled fists.

Someone tapped my shoulder and I turned to see Angela. "You okay?"

I shook my head no and quickly undressed and put my clothes on, seeing if I could pull anything down to cover them. Negative on that situation. I lent my head back and sighed, pulling myself back to normal and sitting on the metal slab we had as a bench seat while coach took roll. Once he knew everyone was here, we got up and went to the track. I placed my hands on my thighs trying to cover as much as possible.

We were going to have to go back inside, I knew that as soon as I looked at the sky. The clash where Grey met black was gone, it was all black. Everything. It was so dark, they had to turn on all the school lights so we could see. I kept my eyes to the floor to see any sign's of rain drops, and was upset to see none.

I don't want to risk getting wet. I look at the sky and hear thunder roll through I back up slightly, Angela not expecting it and having to skid to a halt from her slight jog and back up. Her eyes flicker to the coach, and she signs to me "Coach wants to know if your afraid of thunder?"

I shake my head. "Rain, any wet thing. I just, don't like. Its going to rain soon. I want to go back inside." I finish frantically,my hands trembling slightly.

"So your afraid of water, and you moved to Washington. Your smart." I gave her a non-meant smile, and stuck my tongue out.

Angela looked behind her to the coach again and I waited for her to turn and tell me what was happening. She turned back again, "Were going inside, he says its too close to raining. Time for volleyball, I think you will like it, your prince charming is in there."

I deadpanned at her with my eyes. "Really?!"

"What?" she signed laughing slightly, "Better run if you wanna catch me." all thoughts of my scars escaped me with the glee of getting out of the rain, and like a child I ran after Angela, us bounding ahead of people my throat constricting sometimes as- I hope- I was laughing.

We burst through the gym doors and I didn't expect her to full on stop, so I ran strait into her back and fell flat on my ass my throat tight as I squealed. I stopped as Ang turned and grabbed me, her face telling me to shut the hell up.

"Whats wrong?" I signed as the rest of our group piled in.

then I looked over her shoulder and saw the entire other class was sitting in a circle in the middle of the room with another male coach in the center pacing as he spoke. Everyone else was staring at me and Angela. I cursed mentally and pulled Angela along with me to the back of the pack slowly. I half smiled .

"Well that wasn't embarrassing." I stated blatantly. She nodded. "Yep."

"Well, lets get on our teams, and start a game." she signed as we all separated.

"This isn't going to end good." I warned.

"Why?" she looked cautious.

"I'm sorta really clumsy." I nodded while I said this.

She shook her head and I could see her let out a chortle. I sighed, she would see. We got our ball and we went to a net, and everyone sat down, I followed cautiously. This is volleyball, why is everyone sitting?

I looked at Ang and she raised her eyebrows and only signed, "You'll see. Just hit it over the net when it comes." I nodded.

Instead of a volleyball, we had a beach ball, and I finally understood. Were doing lazy volleyball. Ok, this I think I will be better at then normal volleyball. Thank the lord. I feel eyes on my back and turn slowly, only to see a group of guys staring at me and laughing from time to time as they talked. I looked around the room remembering what Angela said about "my romeo" being in here. And yeah I saw him, the guys got long basketball shorts, I will admit to jealousy.

He was in a group of three, both guys from the table he sits with there with him. His shirt, it is glorious, it shows more definition of his lean body. I think I swooned some more. I almost didn't catch it when a hand swiped in front of my face and saved my face from certain doom.

I looked at Angela grateful, my cheeks stained pink. Lord that was embarrassing. I looked sown at my thighs, the thought of them creeping into my mind again. I took my shirt and puffed it out some leaning forward and covering some of my scars. I felt like a science experiment on display, until I felt the floor thunder. And it wasn't the boys playing with their balls either, did the bell ring?

I look to Angela and ask that very question and she shakes her head no, and signs "Rain."

I'm pretty sure my entire face drained of all color. My breathing came faster as I looked to the windows that were scattered around the gym, and I almost passed out. It was fucking pouring. How in the mother of all hell am I supposed to keep my secret safe if the weather has to be on its fucking period. I let my head fall back and I covered my head with my hands. I whimpered and dropped it into my lap, ignoring everyone around me, already feeling sick from the vibrations.

I'm going to die.

Just die. Perish. I will become a science experiment. Nothing more nothing less than a specimen. I shook my head. I felt a tap on my shoulder. I rise and see coach talking to Angela.

"You okay?" she asks.

"No! Its raining, and I feel like I'm going to throw up." my stomach was turning unsteadily.

"You're really that scared of water?!" she signed shocked. I nodded and grabbed my stomach as my anxiety grew with another crash of lightning. My eyes widened as the lights in the gym flickered momentarily but everyone acted like it never happened.

Angela turned to tell the coach what I said and he chuckled for a second, and I just caught him saying "Scared of water?" before I couldn't catch up with what he was saying anymore.

He looked at me, and spoke I looked to Angela.

"Do you need to see the nurse, or go sit by the wall and put your head between your knees? If you go to the nurse, you will need to walk out there." I shook my head, but I did stand and walk to the wall. I could see the girls looking at me and Angela most likely explaining my situation as I sat and placed my head between my knees. After a while and a few more floor vibrations and me looking to see if it was the bell, my stomach had settled a small amount, but when I looked up, everyone was walking to the locker rooms. That means class is over and I would need to walk out there in the treacherous rain.

-o0o-

I stood fully dressed in the locker room, making sure my sleeves were balled in my hands so no water could touch them despite the gloves. I made sure my pant legs were tucked into my black socks, so I wouldn't have any hit my ankles. I made sure to tighten my DC so no water would touch my feet at all. I had my hood up and though it was thin, hopefully the rain would thin a little bit.

I felt my stomach roll again and I went to the door and opened it slowly checking out how bad it was before the final bell rang for us to leave. My stomach dropped dead into my feet. So much for calming down. Good lord it looks like a tsunami. Ok, over exaggerating a little, but its raining bad enough I know my clothes wouldn't survive two seconds. I rubbed my forehead feeling my worry lines while I did.

I turned when I felt a tap. "You're lucky were friends, and I carry extra clothes for days like these in my locker." I hugged Angela as she handed me a thick jacket and a pair of thick sweats.

" I love you." I signed quickly as I took off my back pack and threw them on top of my other clothes, not caring about comfort, or how I would look, but the fact I was a little safer. I fixed my hair in the mirror and smoothed fabric here and there to make sure the water wouldn't soak through this immediately.

"Seriously Angela, I owe you. Ill bring them tomorrow. Thank you." I signed before I hugged her again and my body vibrated.

"Good luck out there, I hope you don't get too wet, and be careful for puddles. Bye." The hell, ok thanks. That girl is weird but the nicest person I have ever known.

I grab my book bag and make a run for it after texting Charlie and telling him I'm by the gym. He replied immediately, saying he was already here. I don't car how many people stared, but I was thankful that I wasn't the only one running to a car. I slammed the door a little as I jumped into the seat checking for any water on skin. I couldn't feel any. I exhaled happily.

I survived, my stomach stopped turning so badly. I rested my head and left the clothes on until I got home and in the clear. First day at Forks High, could have been better, but I survived. Now I just had to make it through the night, with me myself and I, not always the best thing. Oh yeah, and Marvin, can't forget him.


End file.
